Monday, April 11, 2005
from now on.... whatever i wan to do i will do it.... if i dun make up the determination to do it n i just say that i will TRY.... it means giving myself a chance at failure coz i haf not put in my best effort... trying means putting in 50% n expecting onli 50% reward.... but if i reali put in that effort.... i gif 100% of my best n i EXPECT 100% success..... by the expectancy theory i haf learnt that what u expect will be the outcome of what u want usually... i dunno if whet i am saying is true or makes sense.... actualli most of my psychology all gone after the examz!! hahaa.......ytd i got a huge scolding or mayb a lecture from one of my frenz.... having this talk reali enlightened me on the kind of person i am n the kind of person i wan to be..... welll.... i believe wat u say is true n i wan to change myself for the sake of noone but me..... noone cares abt me but myself..... you haf enlightened me.... if i wan to deal with situations in an adult way, i muz control my ID..... i cant be concerned with pleasure but i muz face up to reality...... which is my ego........ hahaa.... i am using psychology terms......... i wanted to go to God todae..... to pray to him n to ask for HIM to bless everyone i love.... frenz, family.... i wan everyone to be happpy..... but i was abit lazy n i reali feel guilty now.... mayb one dae after attachments i shall go.... i will go.... to ask for advice n ask him to bless everyone..... i noe i am not a baptised catholic so i haf no right to ask for anything from HIM but i believe he helps everyone who believes in him..... i am in a state of confusion myself..... i dunnno if i wan to be a follower of the church.... i am afraid i cant commit myself... n my father n brother are buddhists and they will scold me if i choose to be baptised.... so i tink i can onli deal with the situation maturely when i reali noe wat i wan n gif my best to whatever i choose....................... perhaps i shall remain a free thinker..........**XiUpiNg's FEeLinG mooDy riGht noW.....**
Sera's SCARED.
6:52 AM
